i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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