i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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