I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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