she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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