Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
