You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
