he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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