hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
