We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
