We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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