Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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