i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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