At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
