Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
