There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come share oat with me in your robe
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
