I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
