PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
