Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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