you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
