We won't sleep together?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
