my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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