my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
