I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
