if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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