Fuck appropriateness.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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