Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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