So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
