But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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