So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
