there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
