It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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