So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
