We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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