ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
