Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
