Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
