gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
