Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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