Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
