My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
