I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
