If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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