I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
