3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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