Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
