So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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