"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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