HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
