Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
