he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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