so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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