I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
