Whod you bang
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Randomize
