Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
