I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
